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30.3.15


.head to toe. NARS matte velvet lip in Cruella, Banana Republic Sweater, Ann Taylor denim, Converse 
images by Ben Henry

There comes a point where one can only take so much. And finally breaks down. Like a dramatic scene in a movie I recall myself sobbing uncontrollably, sprawled all over my comfy bed. My sobs echoed throughout the cold bare walls. My tears wet my blanket. I felt defeated, lost and rejected. I had just left a three hour interview with a recruiting agency. She critiqued my resume by tearing it up to shreds. She told me that I don't make sense. She couldn't tell what I was trying to do. At that very moment I was confused myself. I just don't know anymore.

I always remember this situation so vividly because never did I ever expect myself to ever feel so fed up with rejection.

Never did I expect myself to crave validation this badly. 

More importantly, never did I see myself so bruised.

I don't know what God has in store for me. I never will. But what I hope is that I will not listen to those ugly thoughts that bring me down.

I'm not going to lie... I feel hurt. I feel stupid. 
I feel like I gave up. 

And that's definitely not like me.

Like these arrows I know my life has to move forward. I want to let go of this rejection that I feel. I don't want to doubt myself anymore.

I, Just need to Do Z.