Yes, I'm still Alive.

So I never officially broke the news on my blog but (wah-lah) I moved to Kansas! 

Totally random I know. This decision came after much discussion. It may have seemed rash but it really needed to happen.  During the Summer of 2015 my parents visited my Grandma (my Dad's mother) and Uncle in Tonganoxie, Kansas. That trip revealed so much to my parents and they came back to North Carolina with excitement. Well my Dad was excited. Mom, she was happy but she was worried. She already could tell that Dad wanted to leave her beloved home in North Carolina. 

Our family in Kansas are part-time farmers. They grow flowers and vegetables and sell to their local flea market on the weekends. It's quite a daunting and hard-working job but can be very fruitful, financially. Which led me to be convinced that I needed to go. 

When my Dad asked if I would go, my immediate response was, "YES, I'm down!".

Many of you know I suffered a depression while I was in New York. Mainly due to my student debt. Which has affected my family severely. I don't want to go into too much detail but I can say that this was the best decision. I was waiting tables in Charlotte for a year and had frankly given up job hunting. I was sick of interviewing with companies that weren't going to hire me for whatever reason. 

Within a week of moving to Kansas I landed a full-time job as a Social Media Manager. I'm working at a Lingerie Company which I do find quite odd. It's a great pay and comes with full benefits. Wow, can you believe how long it's taken to get here? But can I just say that every experience led me here. Well I'll just give the credit to him. Because God is good. 

But back to the real reason I'm really writing this post. I contemplated for a long time whether I wanted to post tutorials on Youtube. And I decided that it was the right platform for me. I was just sick of having all this talent and not really using it. For example, I use to record my own vlogs and edit the videos. Then I use to freelance graphic design. Then I styled. Also blogged occassionally. Like what's up with all these skills? Like what was the bigger picture? 

So far I've uploaded a video once a week. 

And for once in my life. 

I'm not procrastinating. 

I have passion and I have drive.  

Come subscribe.

Thanks for your continuous support.

ILY

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.head to toe. NARS matte velvet lip in Cruella, Banana Republic Sweater, Ann Taylor denim, Converse 

images by Ben Henry

There comes a point where one can only take so much. And finally breaks down. Like a dramatic scene in a movie I recall myself sobbing uncontrollably, sprawled all over my comfy bed. My sobs echoed throughout the cold bare walls. My tears wet my blanket. I felt defeated, lost and rejected. I had just left a three hour interview with a recruiting agency. She critiqued my resume by tearing it up to shreds. She told me that I don't make sense. She couldn't tell what I was trying to do. At that very moment I was confused myself. I just don't know anymore.

I always remember this situation so vividly because never did I ever expect myself to ever feel so fed up with rejection.

Never did I expect myself to crave validation this badly. 

More importantly, never did I see myself so bruised.

I don't know what God has in store for me. I never will. But what I hope is that I will not listen to those ugly thoughts that bring me down.

I'm not going to lie... I feel hurt. I feel stupid. 
I feel like I gave up. 

And that's definitely not like me.

Like these arrows I know my life has to move forward. I want to let go of this rejection that I feel. I don't want to doubt myself anymore.

I, Just need to Do Z.

Black Spring

.head to toe. NARS matte velvet lip in Cruella, Banana Republic Sweater, Ann Taylor denim, Converse
images by Ben Henry

Often times I'd stay away from sweaters because I NEVER looked good in them. NEVER! Maybe it's me being self-conscious or what not but I just hated how my chest would look. This modern, short, cropped sweater is so perfect for my frame. I was so in love with it that I bought it in two colors. LOL It also has these adorable zippers on the shoulder so you can un-zip for a sexier look. 

 Oh yeah and if you follow me on Instagram you would have already known that I cut my hair.

Don't you just love it?

I thought I was just going to get a colored ombre but I ended up chopping off ten inches. I guess I can always add the color later. 

Short hair has required so much maintenance. I have to wake up an hour early just so I can blow dry my hair. I haven't used a hair dryer in over 3-4 years so I'm so afraid that it's going to damage my hair. If you have any recommendations on how products that I can use to help prevent damage comment below. I would love to know your thoughts and opinions.  

Xx Pretty Woman xX

.head to toe. Tarte "Generous" Lip Surgeon, Zara top, thrifted trenchcoat, Schutz heels

images shot by Ben Henry

There's something about Winter in Charlotte that is just so perfect. It's not like that depressive feeling that I dreaded while in New York. To be honest the weather here is no where near comparable to that of the midwest. I suppose I have no right to complain then. Because of the semi-cold Winters I can still dress fairly light. Like every single year I've had a difficult time finding a Winter coat. I will browse a million stores until I decide that I wanted the first one I saw. I seriously can't just make up my mind. I'm one of those shoppers that needs to see EVERY single thing before I make my decision. I can't help it. Luckily I came across this almost floor-length pink trench coat for less than $15 bucks. It has got to be my favorite "steal" of the season. 

I truly feel so much more at ease being back. I'm very happy with my decision. Charlotte has been treating me so well. Love having Walmart back in my life again. She's the best. As much as I anticipated having my car back I've soon realized that I hate it. My back hurts mostly due to the fact I'm sitting a lot more than I'm use to. 

As I adjust to Charlotte I realized that I can totally shop comfortably. Which is an amazing feeling when you haven't been able to splurge on yourself because you may have to pay that electric bill. I seriously feel like a RICH lady now.  haha just joking. 

Funny thing I realized too...I've grown into a pretty woman as I like to call it. Seeing the growth in myself is astounding. Seriously!!! How did I become what I've always dreamed of? When I was little I always admired such elegant women. I never thought a crazy and obnoxious child would grow up to be so refined. 

(P.S. That doesn't mean I lost my inner child, though.)

Peaceful Goodbyes

.head to toe. em lipstick passion berries, Sandro mesh top, Reformation dress, Charlotte Russe heels
images shot by http://geneticboi.blogspot.com/Geneticboi

As I write this entry I am sitting in my friend's home in North Carolina. Many of you lovely followers and readers know that I started my fashion blog during college. I attended the Art Institute and graduated with my BA in Fashion Marketing and Management. 

Charlotte is where I began my journey in fashion. I didn't grow up with an idea of what I wanted to pursue. Although when I look back at my young diary entries and family photos I do see the humble beginnings of a rock star. Neither I, nor my family would predict that I would have picked up and moved to the amazing New York City in the Fall of 2011. After 4 long but life-changing years I made the decision to return to Charlotte. 

I know many of you are wondering why I would even dream of leaving NYC. There are many reasons. Not all that can be explained. Not all that need to be explained. But to leave you with some comfort there's a saying that goes, 

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy" 

For what she (New York City) has taught me is nothing I would take back. She's made me a better person, stronger believer and smarter woman. I come back to Charlotte with a sense of peace. I'm sure I'll miss the friends, the bars, the memories and of course the energy of New York City. But I can say that I'm ready. 

Ready to build a better me.

And don't think this is the end. I'll be back to New York to work on fashion gigs. It's not the end. She'll always be there. 

^ DUMBO, you have my heart ^

.head to toe. vintage bra, thrifted floral blouse, American Apparel pant, Zara heels

I have made such wonderful memories during my time in Washington Heights. But deep inside I knew my heart was somewhere else. I mean it's obvious that living in the city(Manhattan) changed me. For one - my fashion choices went down the drain. Like seriously... I looked a hot mess. I had absolutely zero inspiration to play dress up.  Which totally isn't like me. And in the mess of it all the smallest things like "people" started to irritate me. Like you know it's bad when you want to cuss at every tourist. Basically imagine some adolescent girl who never stopped being on her period. That was me for a while. 

Although - I do need to thank the Heights for many things...like my adult (because this can be hard to find ANYWHERE) roomies who were willing to take me in when I needed a place to stay, the tasty and flavorful Dominican food/hott Latin men, the only Chinese take-out spot that made fried cheese wontons the way I like it and the convenience of the "A" express train esp. during my drunken extravaganzas. 

Can I also say that I am so blessed to have found this room in DUMBO for a fairly reasonable price. God was definitley with me throughout this difficult time. And of course my fabulous friends and family. Finding an apartment and being unemployed is the most stressful thing EVER. But as always - I ALWAYS find a way to make it work. 

This Spring I'm looking forward to traveling light and incorporating more neutral colors in my color palette. This will definitely be a challenge as I was constantly sporting darker shades. Not trying to go all psychological on you all but maybe it can be blamed or reflect the lack of inspiration that I fell into? And as the sun appears brighter each day I will begin to pull out those high-waisted shorts. 

Honey, you just don't know how long these legs have been wanting to be touched by the sun.  

xx

#Fashion Killa

.head to toe. Top Shop hat, F21 overalls, thrifted camo jacket, H&M stockings, Steve Madden boots

As promised here is outfit number two that I shot while on vacation in Wisconsin. A few days before my trip I went thrifting in Brooklyn and found this amazing camo jacket for only ten dollars. What a steal! It's taken me so long to find a camo jacket that was fitting to my body. I love the features on this one in particular because the buttons in the back. When buttoned it gathers the fabric at the waist which then creates a slimmer silhouette. I love wearing oversized pieces but sometimes a girl needs to accentuate that waist right? =) 

I bought the cheetah print Forever 21 overall dress while I was at the Mall of America. I definitely like the selection at this Forever better than the one in Times Square. Surprising, right?!? I just hate the fact that the Times Square location has almost the same clothing merchandised throughout the store. I found the dress in the sale section and fell in love with it. The dress is quite short and probably appropriate for the beach. So until then I won't be wearing it until it gets warmer in the city. 

It's starting to get a little less chilly here and I'm hoping I can pack up my winter coat for good. Praying to the weather gods that they stop bringing this crazy cold weather!

// CHROMA ENLIGHTENING

.head to toe. thrifted Bonworth floral blouse, F21 pant, Mossimo flats, thrifted Martin Sanford coat

I'm loving these images because of course they were shot in my home town of Wausau, Wisconsin. Wausau has always been so good to me. It holds many dear memories - good and bad. LOL Being home was enlightening for many reasons. I was able to have private moments with my lovely grandmother, babysit my nieces and nephews and of course go out and have a blast with my cousins. It was the getaway that I needed.

A day before I left Wausau I wanted to shoot some outfits. I asked my cousins Amy and Vicki to take me to the best places in town. We only had a limited time but they did their best! Let me tell you - it was FREEZING. I'm so glad these two ladies endured the horrible weather with me. We found this spot in one of the newer buildings across the old mall that I use to shop at when I was little. It was the perfect spot. It looked like a greenhouse meets a coffee shop. Not sure why no one takes pictures here but if you're in Wausau you should.  Of course there wasn't the amazing sun glares but the light was gorgeous. Vicki did an amazing job for being an amateur. I hope you enjoy these. I have a few more outfits I'll be sure to share with you all soon.

xoxo

+ short stop

.head to toe. thrifted velvet skater dress, thrifted denim jacket, thrifted shoes, warby parker glasses

My hair has been un-even for the longest time. Because 2 years ago I made the decision to shave half my head, click here for pictures. But I didn't stop shaving it until maybe early last year. Thankfully I'm lucky that my hair grows extremely fast. My hair hit my shoulder by end of last year. 

Recently I've had the urge to cut my hair. If you know me - that's the thing that bores me the most. Don't know why. I actually really wanted to color it but now that I'm working in corporate I'm trying to maintain that professional look.  Haha. I love the new hair because it balances me out since I'm quite short. Doesn't it look so chic? LOL 

**These pictures were taken when the weather was still warm but breezy. Now it's starting to get colder. So I obviously won't be wearing a dress without leggings. Winter will be here soon. Are you excited? Cause I am. 

RISK TAKER : kimono love

.head to toe. zara kimono, top shop tank, zara skirt, forever 21 heels, celine sunnies

These images are quite different from anything I've shot before. I'm pretty happy with them! Sometimes I think it's crazy that people have the time to shoot an outfit for every day. Like what else do you do? But again I've always wanted to share with my family and friends what life in the city is like, how I've changed, what I wear, etc. In college I was always experimenting with my style and basically wear just about anything. I wasn't afraid. I miss that about me - being fearless. It's not to say that I'm not anymore.  I think I've simplified my taste a little. But I really want to have that fearless attitude again.

Anyways the back story to this shoot : Last year I met one of my favorite fashion inspirational bloggers, Genetic Boi. I remember logging into Facebook and seeing his name pop on my feed. One of our mutual Facebook friends had commented on his photo. I clicked on it and found out he moved to New York City (what a coincidence, I did too!). I was completely estatic. No one knows but I was always a fan of Quan long before his current blog. I use to follow him on asianavenue (popular asian website, kinda like myspace). But by follow - I would stalk his posts and images because he was always posting these amazing photo shoots with these photographer sisters. *Fast forward back to me surfing on Facebook* I added him as a friend and posted on his page saying how much he inspired me and I hope I would be able to meet him. He replied and said hopefully we would. Then a couple weeks later I was working (at Top Man) and I see this asian boy with blue hair(at the time Quan dyed his hair blue). I didn't quite think that much about it but I started to realize that he had the same physical features as Genetic Boi. And that is when I freaked out. He started to walk towards where I was standing and I just started screaming. He looked and me (thank god he recognized me or I would have been embarrassed) and started screaming too. I'm sure at that point he realized that I was the girl who had just written to him on Facebook a couple weeks ago. We both probably looked like the cute asian cartoon characters jumping for joy. HA HA. Since then we've become such great friends. I occasionally help shoot his outfits for his blog and if there is time he shoots me. I'm so grateful to have met Quan. He's such an inspiration to me because I feel like we understand each other. He has a dream and so do I. He needs support and so do I. He is often misunderstood and so am I.

*These images were shot in Summer. I no longer have long hair =X

Top 5 Places I'd Like to Visit

Right now I won't have the funds to go on any extravagant vacations this year but that doesn't stop a girl from dreaming. I will be traveling back to my home state of Wisconsin for my Grandma's birthday celebration and hopefully Vegas in the late Summer. Who knows where else the year will take me! Well I've decided to rack up the top 5 places I'd like to visit outside of the United States and share them with you all. I definitely will be sharing you the reasons for each and I hope you get a better sense of where my mind is at.

1. Morocco - I'm totally in love with the beauty of the people, architecture and culture. If I lived in a place where everything was so brightly colored I think I would be the happiest girl on earth. I love the fact that this country is so modern in design but also holds on to their history. I really want to explore the street markets, historical places, and of course bathe in a luxurious pool.

2. Tibet - Tibet may not have a lot of attractions but I think I really want to meet the villagers. The people really draw me here. Maybe because every photo I see is a scruffy old man with piercing eyes. For me I really wouldn't care if I stayed in a nice place. The experience would be enough for me. I'm also interested in the kind of food. What to expect? I don't know. Never had any Tibetan food.

3. Nepal - I would love to make a stop since it's neighbors with Tibet. The culture is very similar to that of Tibet. I'd really like to visit the national park to see the mountains and gigantic temples. And of course I would love to hopefully try on some traditional Nepal clothing.

 4. Egypt - For some reason I've always had a connection with Egyptian history. I'm fascinated by the ancient ruins and all the mythology. I want to explore the tombs, pyramids, and the temples. I would love to dig in the dirt too!

 5. Pompeii, Italy - I've read about the ruins of Pompeii when I was a little girl. I'd be so elated if I got the opportunity to visit what I could only read about. Some might think I'm weird for wanting to visit a town with towns of dead people. I guess I'm just weird like that. Of course I want to explore Italy too but Pompeii is a must.

Lets cross our fingers and hope I get a chance to see all these places in this lifetime!!! images do not belong to me

RUNWAY FEVER: Short Stuff

If you aren't following my instagram then you probably don't know that I dyed my beautiful blonde hair to black. I made the decision to keep my wild streak to a minimum. Only because I'm still in the process of looking for a decent paying job. And that would require me to look very corporate like. I will miss the blonde - I already do. I tend to get bored of my hair and like to reinvent myself. This time I'm just regular ole me. Nothing wrong with that. But something inside me screams for change.

So I've been thinking about maybe get a new haircut. My hair is currently uneven since I did shave my hair last year. It has grown out but now one side is shoulder length while the other falls below my breast. I really love my long hair but thi short edgy cut is really cute. I'm thinking my hair would work really well since it's full of volume. But then again I really think I look great with longer hair. And with my face shape I might not pull it off like the pictures below. Decisions, decisions.

What do you think? What should I do?

 

Personal: Style Resolutions + Urban Denim Chic Editorial

First post of the year. Seriously can't believe it's 2013. Probably because I'm getting so old. I shouldn't be complaining. ha ha (I'm really not much older than I perceive myself to be)

A few STYLE resolutions I want to play around with this year:

1. Less is more - I'm not really one to be simple when it comes to my personal style but I wouldn't mind giving it a shot. Like I stated last year I feel like my style is gently maturing each and every day. I love it and I'm so excited to continue to explore! Pintrest has really got me addicted to the simple yet tailored look. Btw follow me here!

2. Incorporating my culture - Being a Hmong-American I find that it's really our job to inform the community about the identity of the Hmong people. It wasn't until I moved to NYC did I realize how uniformed or misunderstood we really are. I mean it is great that some know of us due to Clint Eastwood's film but geez we really need to step it up. This year I'm vowing to represent my culture in whatever I wear. Whether it's color choices, an accessory or even a hairstyle.

3. Building heel/pump collection - This one is going to take much more effort. I'm so use to wearing flats, sneakers, combat boots, etc. I let down my shoe game and I really want to try harder on establishing a few good classics that work with my wardrobe. This also means I want to wear them out more! Yay! Must learn to avoid pot holes. Thanks NYC for the shitty sidewalks.

4. Pants, Pants, Pants - I'm not a fan of jeans, pants, bottoms or whatever you call them. WHY? #1 - I feel like a muffin top and #2- I don't like how I look because I have no booty. YES, I am self-conscious of my flat asian booty.  (It's growing though! Working out pays off) But I want to try and wear more bottoms. Especially because there are so many options to choose from these days.

5. Experiment with hairstyles - This one might take some effort but I'm kinda bored of the curly hair that I'm comfortable with. When I was in middle school I would always try all sorts of things. What ever happened? I got lazy or maybe I just care less about it.

Veering off topic - I wanted to share this editorial because it pretty much has a few of the style resolutions that  I really want to try this year.

 

 For the rest of the editorial click here.

PERSONAL: 3 things that make me go ahhhh!

1. Student Loans

2. Career

3. Boys

The end.

RUNWAY FEVER: Altuzarra + Tibi

Love me?

Buy these in a size 7 and send them to me.

images belong to Style.com