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.head to toe. NARS matte velvet lip in Cruella, Banana Republic Sweater, Ann Taylor denim, Converse 

images by Ben Henry

There comes a point where one can only take so much. And finally breaks down. Like a dramatic scene in a movie I recall myself sobbing uncontrollably, sprawled all over my comfy bed. My sobs echoed throughout the cold bare walls. My tears wet my blanket. I felt defeated, lost and rejected. I had just left a three hour interview with a recruiting agency. She critiqued my resume by tearing it up to shreds. She told me that I don't make sense. She couldn't tell what I was trying to do. At that very moment I was confused myself. I just don't know anymore.

I always remember this situation so vividly because never did I ever expect myself to ever feel so fed up with rejection.

Never did I expect myself to crave validation this badly. 

More importantly, never did I see myself so bruised.

I don't know what God has in store for me. I never will. But what I hope is that I will not listen to those ugly thoughts that bring me down.

I'm not going to lie... I feel hurt. I feel stupid. 
I feel like I gave up. 

And that's definitely not like me.

Like these arrows I know my life has to move forward. I want to let go of this rejection that I feel. I don't want to doubt myself anymore.

I, Just need to Do Z.

Black Spring

.head to toe. NARS matte velvet lip in Cruella, Banana Republic Sweater, Ann Taylor denim, Converse
images by Ben Henry

Often times I'd stay away from sweaters because I NEVER looked good in them. NEVER! Maybe it's me being self-conscious or what not but I just hated how my chest would look. This modern, short, cropped sweater is so perfect for my frame. I was so in love with it that I bought it in two colors. LOL It also has these adorable zippers on the shoulder so you can un-zip for a sexier look. 

 Oh yeah and if you follow me on Instagram you would have already known that I cut my hair.

Don't you just love it?

I thought I was just going to get a colored ombre but I ended up chopping off ten inches. I guess I can always add the color later. 

Short hair has required so much maintenance. I have to wake up an hour early just so I can blow dry my hair. I haven't used a hair dryer in over 3-4 years so I'm so afraid that it's going to damage my hair. If you have any recommendations on how products that I can use to help prevent damage comment below. I would love to know your thoughts and opinions.  

1989

.head to toe. Tarte "Generous" Lip Surgeon, thrifted dress/grey knit, Hipanema Necklace, Steve Madden strappys
images shot by Ben Henry

 Happy 25 years to me (!)

Aging since 1989.

Xx Pretty Woman xX

.head to toe. Tarte "Generous" Lip Surgeon, Zara top, thrifted trenchcoat, Schutz heels

images shot by Ben Henry

There's something about Winter in Charlotte that is just so perfect. It's not like that depressive feeling that I dreaded while in New York. To be honest the weather here is no where near comparable to that of the midwest. I suppose I have no right to complain then. Because of the semi-cold Winters I can still dress fairly light. Like every single year I've had a difficult time finding a Winter coat. I will browse a million stores until I decide that I wanted the first one I saw. I seriously can't just make up my mind. I'm one of those shoppers that needs to see EVERY single thing before I make my decision. I can't help it. Luckily I came across this almost floor-length pink trench coat for less than $15 bucks. It has got to be my favorite "steal" of the season. 

I truly feel so much more at ease being back. I'm very happy with my decision. Charlotte has been treating me so well. Love having Walmart back in my life again. She's the best. As much as I anticipated having my car back I've soon realized that I hate it. My back hurts mostly due to the fact I'm sitting a lot more than I'm use to. 

As I adjust to Charlotte I realized that I can totally shop comfortably. Which is an amazing feeling when you haven't been able to splurge on yourself because you may have to pay that electric bill. I seriously feel like a RICH lady now.  haha just joking. 

Funny thing I realized too...I've grown into a pretty woman as I like to call it. Seeing the growth in myself is astounding. Seriously!!! How did I become what I've always dreamed of? When I was little I always admired such elegant women. I never thought a crazy and obnoxious child would grow up to be so refined. 

(P.S. That doesn't mean I lost my inner child, though.)

Peaceful Goodbyes

.head to toe. em lipstick passion berries, Sandro mesh top, Reformation dress, Charlotte Russe heels
images shot by http://geneticboi.blogspot.com/Geneticboi

As I write this entry I am sitting in my friend's home in North Carolina. Many of you lovely followers and readers know that I started my fashion blog during college. I attended the Art Institute and graduated with my BA in Fashion Marketing and Management. 

Charlotte is where I began my journey in fashion. I didn't grow up with an idea of what I wanted to pursue. Although when I look back at my young diary entries and family photos I do see the humble beginnings of a rock star. Neither I, nor my family would predict that I would have picked up and moved to the amazing New York City in the Fall of 2011. After 4 long but life-changing years I made the decision to return to Charlotte. 

I know many of you are wondering why I would even dream of leaving NYC. There are many reasons. Not all that can be explained. Not all that need to be explained. But to leave you with some comfort there's a saying that goes, 

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy" 

For what she (New York City) has taught me is nothing I would take back. She's made me a better person, stronger believer and smarter woman. I come back to Charlotte with a sense of peace. I'm sure I'll miss the friends, the bars, the memories and of course the energy of New York City. But I can say that I'm ready. 

Ready to build a better me.

And don't think this is the end. I'll be back to New York to work on fashion gigs. It's not the end. She'll always be there. 

Proud Babe

.head to toe. em lipstick passion berries, f21 pleather shorts, thrifted denim jacket, NARS polish Ethno Run Left

images shot by Geneticboi

I'm bringing out the booty finally. Why?!? Because I'm PROUD of those squats. I got a new gym routine that's been keeping me on my toes, literally. 

Lately I've been passionate again. My creative juices are flowing. No procrastination. So yeah, I'm 100% back into styling. Which makes me so happy. It's gratifying to see your vision come to life. Especially when it exceeds your expectations. I've always been a very PROUD person. And by that I mean I've always strived for the best. Expected the best. And sometimes I wouldn't do anything until it was perfect. But you know what?!? Shit is not going to be perfect all the time. And that's okay.

That's what this Summer has really taught me. You have to always leave some room for growth. You will never be perfect. How are you going to improve yourself??!? There's something about myself that I love so much more than before. It's that I've grown into myself. And I know that I won't be the same person in 5 or even 10 years. But one thing is for sure. I love myself more. I love every moafuckin' thing about my personality, body and thoughts. 

xoxo

Extension Overload

Image does not belong to me. 

Oh my GOSHHHH. I am so obsessed with this hair editorial. I mean look at THAT HAIR. I'm so inspired to try one of these looks at one of my upcoming photoshoots (I'm back into styling again, woo hoo!) Seriously cannot believe the detail that this person has put into the hair. Love it when creative people push the boundaries and introduce crazy new trends.

I will update you soon with pictures of my latest work. Keep in touch with me on 

Instagram @zabbbeyy

xoxo

My America(na)

.head to toe. f.21 wide brim hat, thrifted dress, Pac Sun denim, boots(?)

^

Who am I? Where do I belong? Where am I going? Do people understand me? Am I doing the right thing? 

^

These are the questions that constantly flood my every being. 

I know I have flaws. 

I am not perfect. I am insecure. 

I am what I am.  

They say you'll never have the answers - one day each moment, dream, laugh, cry, heartbreak, death and birth - will all make sense. As we continue to grow there are special incidents (or reminders as I like to call them) in our lives that reveal our purpose. In the past week I realized that the inner turmoil I have been battling with was an ugly combination of self-hate, unrealistic societal standards, the need for validation and the ever so ugly - jealously. Sounds like quite a big beast right?

As a reflective and self-critical person I wanted answers and I wanted them NOW. 

I titled this post "My America(na)". What does that mean? Technically - Americana is any "artifact or collection of artifacts associated to the history, location and cultural heritage of America". Now what does Americana have anything with my stupid flaws and insecurities? It has everything to do with them. People say know your roots. Know who you are. 

I know the American Dream. But what did it teach me? 

It idolizes people, life, class, sex, etc. I am not going to label and confine myself to satisfy the pedestal I have built. The pedestal that the American Dream has taught me to built. 

^

FUCK THE AMERICAN DREAM. 

^

My CONSITUTION, My America(na)

From every day forward I shall dress how I want to. Sing how I want to. Dance how I want to. Believe in what I want to. 

CREATE THE ART THAT I WANT TO.

And I will not 

I. confine to the ideals of oneself or others

II. live for attention or glory

III. hurt myself with words, labels and images

Signed, 

(WITH MY BIG MOAFUCKA' JOHN HANCOCK)

Zabeth Chang

^

P.S.  Love yourself. Share your love, wealth and knowledge. Trust. 

^

xx

#Fashion Killa

.head to toe. Top Shop hat, F21 overalls, thrifted camo jacket, H&M stockings, Steve Madden boots

As promised here is outfit number two that I shot while on vacation in Wisconsin. A few days before my trip I went thrifting in Brooklyn and found this amazing camo jacket for only ten dollars. What a steal! It's taken me so long to find a camo jacket that was fitting to my body. I love the features on this one in particular because the buttons in the back. When buttoned it gathers the fabric at the waist which then creates a slimmer silhouette. I love wearing oversized pieces but sometimes a girl needs to accentuate that waist right? =) 

I bought the cheetah print Forever 21 overall dress while I was at the Mall of America. I definitely like the selection at this Forever better than the one in Times Square. Surprising, right?!? I just hate the fact that the Times Square location has almost the same clothing merchandised throughout the store. I found the dress in the sale section and fell in love with it. The dress is quite short and probably appropriate for the beach. So until then I won't be wearing it until it gets warmer in the city. 

It's starting to get a little less chilly here and I'm hoping I can pack up my winter coat for good. Praying to the weather gods that they stop bringing this crazy cold weather!

+ short stop

.head to toe. thrifted velvet skater dress, thrifted denim jacket, thrifted shoes, warby parker glasses

My hair has been un-even for the longest time. Because 2 years ago I made the decision to shave half my head, click here for pictures. But I didn't stop shaving it until maybe early last year. Thankfully I'm lucky that my hair grows extremely fast. My hair hit my shoulder by end of last year. 

Recently I've had the urge to cut my hair. If you know me - that's the thing that bores me the most. Don't know why. I actually really wanted to color it but now that I'm working in corporate I'm trying to maintain that professional look.  Haha. I love the new hair because it balances me out since I'm quite short. Doesn't it look so chic? LOL 

**These pictures were taken when the weather was still warm but breezy. Now it's starting to get colder. So I obviously won't be wearing a dress without leggings. Winter will be here soon. Are you excited? Cause I am. 

RISK TAKER : kimono love

.head to toe. zara kimono, top shop tank, zara skirt, forever 21 heels, celine sunnies

These images are quite different from anything I've shot before. I'm pretty happy with them! Sometimes I think it's crazy that people have the time to shoot an outfit for every day. Like what else do you do? But again I've always wanted to share with my family and friends what life in the city is like, how I've changed, what I wear, etc. In college I was always experimenting with my style and basically wear just about anything. I wasn't afraid. I miss that about me - being fearless. It's not to say that I'm not anymore.  I think I've simplified my taste a little. But I really want to have that fearless attitude again.

Anyways the back story to this shoot : Last year I met one of my favorite fashion inspirational bloggers, Genetic Boi. I remember logging into Facebook and seeing his name pop on my feed. One of our mutual Facebook friends had commented on his photo. I clicked on it and found out he moved to New York City (what a coincidence, I did too!). I was completely estatic. No one knows but I was always a fan of Quan long before his current blog. I use to follow him on asianavenue (popular asian website, kinda like myspace). But by follow - I would stalk his posts and images because he was always posting these amazing photo shoots with these photographer sisters. *Fast forward back to me surfing on Facebook* I added him as a friend and posted on his page saying how much he inspired me and I hope I would be able to meet him. He replied and said hopefully we would. Then a couple weeks later I was working (at Top Man) and I see this asian boy with blue hair(at the time Quan dyed his hair blue). I didn't quite think that much about it but I started to realize that he had the same physical features as Genetic Boi. And that is when I freaked out. He started to walk towards where I was standing and I just started screaming. He looked and me (thank god he recognized me or I would have been embarrassed) and started screaming too. I'm sure at that point he realized that I was the girl who had just written to him on Facebook a couple weeks ago. We both probably looked like the cute asian cartoon characters jumping for joy. HA HA. Since then we've become such great friends. I occasionally help shoot his outfits for his blog and if there is time he shoots me. I'm so grateful to have met Quan. He's such an inspiration to me because I feel like we understand each other. He has a dream and so do I. He needs support and so do I. He is often misunderstood and so am I.

*These images were shot in Summer. I no longer have long hair =X