.head to toe. f.21 wide brim hat, thrifted dress, Pac Sun denim, boots(?)
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Who am I? Where do I belong? Where am I going? Do people understand me? Am I doing the right thing?
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These are the questions that constantly flood my every being.
I know I have flaws.
I am not perfect. I am insecure.
I am what I am.
They say you'll never have the answers - one day each moment, dream, laugh, cry, heartbreak, death and birth - will all make sense. As we continue to grow there are special incidents (or reminders as I like to call them) in our lives that reveal our purpose. In the past week I realized that the inner turmoil I have been battling with was an ugly combination of self-hate, unrealistic societal standards, the need for validation and the ever so ugly - jealously. Sounds like quite a big beast right?
As a reflective and self-critical person I wanted answers and I wanted them NOW.
I titled this post "My America(na)". What does that mean? Technically - Americana is any "artifact or collection of artifacts associated to the history, location and cultural heritage of America". Now what does Americana have anything with my stupid flaws and insecurities? It has everything to do with them. People say know your roots. Know who you are.
I know the American Dream. But what did it teach me?
It idolizes people, life, class, sex, etc. I am not going to label and confine myself to satisfy the pedestal I have built. The pedestal that the American Dream has taught me to built.
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FUCK THE AMERICAN DREAM.
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My CONSITUTION, My America(na)
From every day forward I shall dress how I want to. Sing how I want to. Dance how I want to. Believe in what I want to.
CREATE THE ART THAT I WANT TO.
And I will not
I. confine to the ideals of oneself or others
II. live for attention or glory
III. hurt myself with words, labels and images
Signed,
(WITH MY BIG MOAFUCKA' JOHN HANCOCK)
Zabeth Chang
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P.S. Love yourself. Share your love, wealth and knowledge. Trust.
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xx
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